So there's this guy at my church. He rocks back and forth a lot, even when the music isn't
playing. I don't think I've ever heard him speak to anyone; however, I
have heard him sing. I've been a few rows behind him to see the people all turn and stare. I've been at the opposite side of the
church and still heard him singing, or should I say groaning.
It's not a pretty sound. It's a loud monotone moaning noise.
What happened to being dignified and quiet in church? I mean, who does
he think he is to disrupt the rest of the congregation? To ruin worship
for everyone else? It's really hard to concentrate when this guy is singing.
For the past couple of years, I've been praying
that God would give me His eyes for others. Instead of viewing others with my limited (and often distorted) worldly perspective, I've asked the Lord to fill me with His compassion and help
me see people through His lens. I believe the young man at my church is one of the people He has helped me see in a different light.
Though the sound is not a pleasant one to the ears, there is something in my spirit that wants to embrace this young man when he sings. I am filled with joy when I hear him sing - his simple praise takes me to a deeper place in my worship. I've noticed he has been quiet at church lately and I certainly hope someone didn't advise him to stop singing. After all, wasn't it David that
after being accused of dancing half-naked in the streets and disgracing his wife said, "I
will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own
eyes." I did a second-take when I first read that scripture - I thought, did he just use undignified and humiliated as
a positive thing? I would think that as the King, a certain amount of
restraint is appropriate . . . but evidently this doesn't apply when worshiping
the Lord. Scripture says that David danced before the Lord with all his might . . . and it pleases our heavenly Father when we worship Him with the same reckless abandonment.
I think God is tone deaf. I think He hears our hearts in worship, not our tone or display of talent. I've been at churches and heard breathtaking musical performances, but didn't see the singer crack a smile. I've been at churches and seen individuals perform with zeal and get the crowd worked-up, but instead of drawing attention to the One they were singing about, they drew attention to themselves.
I want to be more like the young man at my church. I hope someone didn't quench his beautiful undignified act of worship before God. Help us God - we are so clueless sometimes. Jerk us out of our habits and traditions that displease you and wash away the religious stench that remains in our churches and hearts. Open our eyes Lord. Make us more like You. I want to be more like you - to be undignified, humiliated, and tone deaf.
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."
I found your blog through Michelle Breeding's link to one of your posts.
ReplyDeleteMy brother is severely autistic and rocks. He also sings loudly, and probably off key for members of the congregation who hope for a pure worship experience. At age 44, he is finally at a church whose congregation sees beyond the external and realizes that God sees the internal. His entire church-life has been defined by the subtle notion of righteous people preferring to not be around the imperfect in God's creation. I am *mortified* that you would need to ask God for compassion to not only allow that man in your church to worship freely, but that you don't even realize that his voice raised in praise is probably sweeter to God's ears than the perfect pitch raised by the rest of you.....you think God is tone-deaf? I think He hears perfectly, and that man is *not* pitiful in God's eyes. I hope you took your wish to be more like someone who worships with reckless abandon and not only encouraged that young man to BEGIN singing AGAIN, but also that you now stand up within your congregation and advocate for those who are the least among us. Because, as you know, how we treat the least of our brothers is of special interest to our Savior.
Also -- please, please, please -- I hope you did not not tell that young man about what you wrote here of his groaning, distracting voice, and how God used it to help you grow in compassion. I hope he has instead felt the love of Jesus from your congregation, and I sincerely hope he has begun singing again.
Tanya, though I do not know you, I am so very sorry that my blog has upset you. You have misunderstood me. I want you to know that I agree with you 100%!! I can assure you that the intent of my words was to affirm our love for those who are different, not ostracize them.
ReplyDeleteI grew up playing at my mom's workplace (a home for the mentally challenged) and my sister is an occupational therapist who specializes in autism, so I have a special place in my heart for people like your brother. I am filled with joy as I watch this young man worship at my church - you are right that the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. This was the whole point of my blog - that we should really be more like them in mirroring such beautiful abandon to God. I'm so sorry this wasn't conveyed to you when you read it.
Since writing this post, I have learned that this young man never stopped singing, he was just quieter some weeks than others. He is loved and thriving at our church (even working as an usher). I am so glad to hear your brother has also found a loving and welcoming church home - this is how the body of Christ was meant to function. Blessings to you Tanya and your family.